Daydreams

By Cielle Marie

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve dreamed about falling in love; falling head first into a love so perfect it seems unreal. I’m definitely a lover girl to my core. I’m sure we all are though, in some way. From Disney Princess movies to seeing Valentine’s Day pictures on Twitter of women getting spoiled, the prospect of love has been fed gently (or shoved down our throats, depending on how you look at it) to us all on gold plates and silver spoons. To me, it has always seemed so incredibly sweet – not just the materialistic things but the emotional connection, the care, the tiny things.

Young people are so scared of getting hurt, getting close to somebody and getting their heart broken, and I think the lack of love and romance in our generation is a direct result of this fear. It’s a shame that energy and hope are in such short supply that nobody wants to waste any of it on anyone. Romance is a hot commodity but it’s also in short supply; people have given up; their weariness is shown in redundant “Wys” messages on Hinge with the walls still built up high. I’ve still got hope though.

My mum always raised me to have standards higher than heaven itself and to never settle for anyone who doesn’t hand deliver me the moon and stars to my front door... whenever a man treated me badly and I’d try and fix him, I’d remember her giving me a hug and telling me “two tings yuh nuh run for: trains and men.”

I’d still run an entire marathon for true love though; I guess that’s a good thing, perhaps; this is what I wrote to the person I will fall for.

i want you to be my daydream.

be my occasional headache but a constant presence,

be my soul’s solace and the love of my life.

may your eyes be the reflection of a sunset at sea,

may your lips feel like coming home

at the end of a cold and painful day.

be my midnights lit by a half moon and a scented candle,

be my cinnamon and cloves and sugar,

be the electricity that keeps me going within darkness

when you feel way too good to be true,

be my peace and my alarm clock

to force me awake from my irresponsible mind.

be who i’ve always wanted and i’ll be your daydream too.

i'll be your cold side of the pillow at 2 in the morning,

i’ll be your dessert, sweet and resplendent

after a plate of rice and peas with plantain,

i'll be the manifestation of your wildest obsessions,

i'll be your magician and make you feel like

everyone else disappears when you look at me.

may my hands carry the kiss of life

whenever i touch and hold you,

may my name be your constant heartbeat

and the r&b interlude that you sing every day.

i’ll be your thrill, your sweetheart, your muse,

I’ll be your sunny day with cocktails and ice cream in july,

i'll be your cleansing rain, your starry sky,

i’ll be your happiest of ever afters.

may your daydream look, feel and taste like me.

Perhaps one day I’ll say all of this on my wedding day, but for now, I will keep dreaming.